If you have adopted kids, or are thinking about it, this post is going to be of great worth to you. Sometimes you can come up short with what to say and what not to say in new situations like this. Below are a list of don’ts for adoptive parents created by our Provo Adoption Lawyers.
Don’t mention how ‘different’ your adopted child looks from the rest of your family. It is pretty normal for people to point out physical similarities between each other. However, this can cause an adopted child to feel left out, so do your best to keep talk about physical traits to a minimum.
Don’t keep secrets. Having your children know they are adopted early on is the best method. No good will come from keeping it a secret. There will never be “the perfect time” so just tell them immediately.
Don’t give them special treatment. Just because your child is adopted, doesn’t mean they are any different than your biological children (if you have any.) Treating them differently will make them feel different and sometimes even resentful.
Don’t keep adoption records from them. Even though you were the parents that raised your child, they can still feel like there is another part of them out there that they need to know about. Don’t hide this from them, or they might be resentful. People want to know where they come from, so let them.
In the end, just treat them like they aren’t adopted. However, when anything related to adoption comes up, talk about it openly and freely. Don’t ever make them feel like they can’t talk to you about it.